Social Media with a Side of Depression and Anxiety

Many of you who read this blog found me through social media, specifically instagram. And I am so grateful for the opportunities that app opened up for me. I’m getting paid to make my house prettier and show you how to make yours prettier too. Not a bad gig! It took me YEARS to get here (no viral growth for me) and so I am VERY grateful.

However, with the app, like with all social media, there is a dark side. People are rude. Some are evil. Many spread misinformation like wildfire, which can be deadly. Anyone can be an “expert”… and the list goes on and on. It’s not good.

On that note, I’ve been finding it hard to know what to say about things going on in our world lately. On one hand, I want people to know where I stand on certain issues so they know what kind of person I am. On the other hand, where does it end?

Yesterday, for example, so many people posted a slide about the recent shootings. It’s beyond terrible and horrendous that this kind of thing happens and continues to happen with our slack gun laws in the US. It makes me sick that someone would kill other people based on race or religion or any other reason. Sick. People can’t do a simple task like head to the store, or church, or even leave their homes without fear of being shot. But then another friend of mine was posting about Israel and Palestine and shared a photo of the demolished home of her great grandparents and talked about genocide. And then I started to think about the people of Ukraine and what they continue to go through. And then there is government telling women what they can and can’t do with their bodies, and more killing, and more hate, and more misinformation and more awful everything.

And so that question again; where does it end? If I share I’m upset about one thing, doesn’t that mean I need to share I’m upset about all of the things? And if we all pick and choose what we share, does that mean we don’t care about other awful things going on? The answer is no. But to some, it is perceived that way. That breaks my heart. “Why do you all care about ___ and not care about me?” Which is not the case at all. Because again, its social media making people feel like shit. Even when you’re trying to do good.

I don’t know if anyone has noticed or even cares that I’ve stopped posting things about what is happening in our world. But I feel like I’m being silently judged by some of my peers and some people who follow along on my page. (Maybe I’m being paranoid. Who knows.) But I just can’t see the point anymore. People who agree, agree. People who don’t agree, explode into my DMs and get very personal and aggressive and let me tell you- its not fun. I have never changed anyone’s mind. The stress of strangers screaming at me definitely played into my vitiligo spreading like wildfire over the past few years and made me incredibly anxious and depressed at times. (Vitiligo an autoimmune skin disorder that can be triggered by stress.) I don’t like fighting with people in my real life, so why am I doing it online and in such a larger format? And what does it really do to share the news? Unless they are living under a rock, people know what’s happening. So it doesn’t feel like its educating anyone. So it made me think and I believe I’ve come up with why a lot of us feel we need to share these things.

When we share, it lets people know where we stand. Which is important to me. I do want there to be no question about what kind of person I am. I won’t shop from certain stores due to things they believe and so I understand people not wanting to support a small business like me if I’m a garbage human that doesn’t have values that align with yours. I’ve also unfollowed MANY accounts on social media for awful things they’ve supported or things they’ve shared. So believe me, I get it. So if you ever want to chat or know where I stand on something, I welcome you to message me.

So why am I writing this? I think its time we stop judging people for doing their jobs. I admit I have been guilty of this. But no one expects my husband to come into work and give his opinion on the news before he gets to work. No one thinks he’s an oblivious, self centered piece of shit because he didn’t stop work to announce his views on current events. They get to know him, and then learn who he is. This app makes us feel entitled to know everything about everyone and its honestly insane.

For the record, I care. About a lot of things. And most of the time I care so much and it becomes a problem with feelings of depression and anxiety and I’m of no use to my family when I get like that. They are what is the most important thing in the world to me. So when I come to work, on the app, I like to come and escape. I build things, I style things, I act like a fool to make you laugh (or cringe. or both)? I know how much social media effects my mood and it isn’t healthy. I will tell you that.

Seeing the terrible news when I’m looking for a laugh or to learn, or to shop, or whatever I’ve come onto the app to do, is like a punch in the gut. I don’t want to be the reason you feel that punch to the gut anymore. And I know I’ve done that in the past because a very sweet person told me that once when I shared a slide that was personal to her. She wasn’t expecting it. And she thanked me for caring, and we had a good chat, but it was a “punch in the gut”. Those words stuck with me. I don’t want to share a pillow or a project then bam! Punch you in the gut anymore. I want you to be able to come to my page and have some fun and hopefully get inspired. If in the future I do choose to share something I will be sure to put a warning before I do. If I see a way I can use instagram to help a cause or raise money etc. I will continue to do that.

Thank you for reading and for being good humans. Contrary to the news, we do still exist.

xo Kelly